what's next?

I want to paint pictures of the river and the people who walk by the window at work.  I want to collect wallpaper with tiny blue birds and floral prints.  I want to have a tray of perfumes that never run out and a vase of flowers next to my bed.  I want tiny stringed lights and triangle bunting to cover my ceiling.  I want to play old Christmas vinyl on my record player in flannel and sweater boots.  I want honey vanilla chamomile tea and I want to fill my journals with stories.  I want to lie on the floor and stare at the lights from my star machine.  I want a suitcase full of handkerchiefs and my hair in a braid.  I want boats covered in Christmas lights and Ferris wheels over water.  I want late night drives with hot cocoa in hand.  I want countdowns and lists and resolutions.  And I want a better story.  Strength and grace and hope for tomorrow.

This is my December.